it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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