I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
