Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
