Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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