This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize