I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
