Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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