I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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