So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
