i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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