And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize