Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
