whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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