butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i already hear my dad disowning me
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
