I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
