i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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