when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
