i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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