so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
