My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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