Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
