He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
