Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
