While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
