doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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