I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
