you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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