Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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