I feel great
I just peed on a car
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
