I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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