i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
