he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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