OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
