I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
