question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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