I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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