what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Randomize
