is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
