So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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