I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize