I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
