i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
