shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
