its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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