Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
