the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Quick, to the slutcave!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
