but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
