When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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