Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
