Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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