No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
