I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
