"it" just moved
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
did i walk over a car last night?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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