I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Damn victory sex feels great
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
