i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I will pee on everything he values.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
