If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
