i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
