So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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