Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
