Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
