But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
