yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
