Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
