McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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