it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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