He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
