hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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