your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
