I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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