if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
