I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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