just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
