So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
