I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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