Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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