i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
