I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize