I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
